Finding my project

Mountains are like an addiction. The more you climb them the more you want. The need to feel the cold biting wind on your skin or the sun on your face. The desire to walk until you’ve reached the top and to just keep going.

But there comes a point when the thrill of a bimble up a mountain (however hot and sweaty you get) isn’t enough anymore and routes have to be harder and higher.
I’ve had a lifetime of climbing mountains and long distance walks and now I find ticking mountains off lists isn’t enough. (Though that is an addiction that’s ingrained in me now!)

Climbing Kilimanjaro in 2013 was something I’d wanted to do since I was 15 (also the year I decided I wanted to walk the Pennine Way).  Having achieved it, the combination of realising I could deal with altitude and a desire to be out in the snow pushed me to the Himalayas last year. And while my first 6000er didn’t go according to plan, with strong winds at high camp and feeling wiped out, it hasn’t deterred me from wanting more. And let’s face it Mera Peak is awesome but it’s a long walk in to do 3 days of mountaineering, winding through crevasses, sleeping high on the glacier. I’ve done technically more challenging stuff in Scotland though the altitude takes some beating!

How can I keep stretching myself?

And then I finally understood the meaning of the term that I hear climbers use a lot – project.

I have a project.

Not one I’m willing to commit in writing for fear of failure, or my idea being stolen.

There’s a good chance I’ll never be good enough, or time, cash, skills and fear will hold me back. But it’s nice to have a long term goal to reach for. Something to work towards. Something to frame everything I do.

A bit like a jigsaw, I need to learn all the pieces and fit them together in the complexity of life for it to come off, and even if I fail I’ll have had a blast trying. It was after all, the goal of my ML which turned me into a summit addict, constantly seeking out new places to go.

So in reaching my goal:

I need to be fitter – so running harder and longer should sort that. I have three races booked for May and June. Considering that this time last year I didn’t run at all I think I’m doing well to commit to two fell races and a half marathon already. And there’s the rest of the year yet too. And how much further could I go?

I need to climb harder – I climb weekly indoors and my goal this year is to get outside regularly not just a couple of times a year and to lead, even if it’s only easy routes. Overcoming my fear is important. Eventually I might set myself a grade to push for, right now just leading outdoors will be good.

I need to winter climb – I missed two winters through life getting in the way so it was good to get out a lot this winter, but I need to get vertical! I’m not going to attempt to aim for anything ludicrously difficult, I just want to be able to reach Scottish grade 3 happily eventually, and Alpine D. (That one will take longer to achieve.)

Be good to my boss and save up – the project will require a fair amount of time off work over the years it might take to achieve. (No it’s not Everest, I work for a charity I’ll never afford that!)

So that’s a bit of a late New Year’s resolution, that’s more like a life resolution. Along with me already committing to doing my winter ML at some point. Blimey, I’m going to be busy!! If nothing else it’s bound to generate a lot of funny stories.